"I don't think you appreciate the severity of your situation. You are rapidly approaching end stage male spinsterism. That cat, that diabetic cat that you're shooting up with insulin, buying dime bags of catnip for, that means you've given up on ever finding anyone."
P.S.: I stumbled upon the above comic on Tumblr and only today figured out the source. So I must give credit to cat versus human. Check it out, I'm already a big fan!