Saturday, March 5, 2011

Everybody leaves

I’ve been thinking about this for quite a while now but it seemed too grim and dark to post it on a colorful blog like this. However, as the winter is slowly hitting the road, I guess I can see now how behind the whole idea there was something more I wanted to say. But basically it’s true. There are very few people who stick by us throughout our lives and even those have to move on at some point. We seem to forget every time we get left behind that once again we took things for granted and we go on and on doing the same thing with different people. It can’t even be called a mistake. Mostly because the first time we do it may turn out to be a mistake, but choosing to persevere in our absurd game of building social relations as if they were forever can only be called a choice.
I should know. I’ve moved around all my life. I’ve had different sets of friends and colleagues every few years and somehow I never learned. Not to mention family. Relatives, grandparents, siblings, even parents will not be around forever. Best or worst case scenario they die on us or we die on them. Some will leave or some will simply drift away. Blood relations and decades of sharing practically everything do not guarantee that in a few months the people closest to us won’t just vanish into thin air.
But this is not really what I wanted to talk about. I wanted to talk about change. About how some things, especially people, who leave our lives, are actually what made us who we are today. And if we cherish ourselves we should look at all this loss with more consideration. If I were still besties with my childhood neighbor I would be a different person right now. I’m not saying I’m the best alternative version of myself. We can’t always see things as better or worse, but as different. But as long as we like this one version, we can easily discard and make fun of the others. What I’m saying is that change is good and however painful or confusing loss may seem at some point, it may be for the best.
So now that it’s spring and the cold is melting away, we should maybe leave the resentment build over the winter behind. And look further ahead. But if we insist on taking one last glance over the time past, I believe we should do it with more tenderness and self-awareness. We are what we are not only because of the things that have happened to us, the people we’ve met, but also because of those that didn’t and the ones we were spared of. People are constantly changing and that is a beautiful thing. And knowing that everybody leaves eventually doesn’t mean we shouldn’t trust or invest in others. It means we should have the courage to take a (hardly calculated) risk and take the leap. And most of all, cherish who we are right now and cherish the people we have in our lives. Because we never know when that might be over and who could come and take their place. Nobody is irreplaceable and nothing is forever. But again, the whole beauty stands in this inconsistency, whatever makes us human must be deeply connected to the uncertainty that comes with human interaction and we all owe it to ourselves to try and beat the odds from time to time.

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