Friday, July 27, 2007
They say your home is where your heart is. Then my heart would be broken anyway. Researchers had real problems trying to determine what is home for all people. There is always a certain error. When applying questionnaries for a census, they had to operationalise the concept of home. Is it the place where you sleep? Then can some people who travel all the time call the hotel or tent home? Is that where we should look for them when we are doing a census? Another option is to consider home the place where we keep our things. But some people live in one place with a partner and keep their stuff in some privately owned place. Home can also be the place where we spend most of our private time. But then for some people the park, the coffeeshop or the gym may be considered to be home. I never defined what home is for me. But I can only find one thing: it's the place where, at least for a while, you always go back when nothing is the best thing to do.
Well, I’m in the
airport. Now I’m thinking about the luggage, I don’t know if they manage to put it on the plane in time, since I was late anyway. I hope so. I will wait half an hour and get on the plane to Zurich . The trip was not so bad. Actually, I slept very good last night, even if it was few time. And now I’m not very tired. I was very bad after running in the Budapest , I could hardly breathe because of the panic (I was breathing like Darth Vader in Star Wars). The weather is great in airport of Porto , and the mountains look wonderful. There was good visibility on all trips and I had seats at the window on the flight from Geneve (and now I will have the same again, hehe). There were little children sitting in front of me on the plane who were very funny and we got yummy Swiss chocolate. I like this airport, you should see the smoking place, it’s like a very fancy bar. It’s easy to get around, the crew helps you and also there are a lot of signs (my grandparents worried I'd get lost). The Switzerland Oporto airport is nice too (it was elected one of the best in Europe and has free wireless and LAN internet), but it can get confusing sometimes (like Portuguese roads). I dream a lot, this way I don’t get sad.
Friday, July 20, 2007
When I stop to listen and have a real conversation I find myself easier than when I go on the street alone shouting on the inside and trying to figure things out. There is more to life than the things that make me sad and worried. As the 'Sunscreen' song says, worry is like trying to solve an algebra ecuation by chewing bubblegum. Because the real problems we will have in life never even crossed our minds. But let's just leave that all behind. What is more to life than waiting next to the telephone, or being depressed because of a bad hair day? Things just as simple as that... dreaming about owning my own house and developing the plan to achieve that... and right then the right persons will offer their support. Then dreaming again about my outraging coffeeshop and deciding to learn how to administer one. Moreover, keeping the faith... that friends will be there when you have happy moments to share and opportunity will cross my way when I want to take my education further on. Rather than wait, I prefer to hope and rather than worry, to believe...
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
My friends are moving to other cities, working in other countries, being left behind, coming and going and what can I do? I'm self-centered, but not self-sufficient. I'm actually a relationship person. Who turned over night into a sad 'wake up and smell the coffee girl'. And then, I'm just a little creature, all this sadness is too much to fit me. I'm working hard to face it, no one told me anyway I go I lose. The worst thing is... having to dance alone through life... But it was my choice and I'm sticking to it.
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
I arrived last night and I still haven't gone out of the house. I ate good soup with Romanian ingredients and woke up on a wonderful heat. It's so good and sunny and it all smells like holiday. The best part is that I found wireless signal directly from my room. And all my family from the city lives within a 5-minute reach (they are all nice and funny) and the center and the river are at 10 minutes of walking. Next days I intend to go swimming, shopping and sleep a lot (three of my favourite s-words...). I'm still sad every time I stop to let my mind flow, but I'll cope just fine.
Monday, July 2, 2007
The hard thing is not to say goodbye. The hard thing is to convince yourself that goodbyes are just 'see you later', when all you feel like doing is to cry. And the hardest thing is to go on when everything inside you has turned into a heavy rock that is growing and growing and the pressure is impossible to take and you wish a tear would break through your skin or a scream through your throat, but you just lie there helpless staring and wondering if it's best to remember the good times or contemplate the ones ahead. I personally prefer to let it all out. The past is now there to make me smile when I feel lonely and to give me strength when I can't believe in myself. The future is there to make me dream when I get bored and to give me hope when I can't make one more step ahead. But this moment is here for me to cry because I'm sad, to write because I have wireless and to hold my head up high because now I'm the only person left to to take care of me.