Friday, December 11, 2009

Do you believe in life after love?

After having "Oh, Susana" playing on and on in my head for days, today it's Cher. It's like the annoying songs of my childhood have all decided to haunt me this winter. I'm trying to counterbalance it by caroling around the house. Problem is I start humming on the street as well. Yesterday it was "Take me to the riot". It's a hell of a musical December.
So I was thinking of a smashing holiday schedule, which includes children movies, lots of food and occasionally some witty jazz. But that's for next week, cause I'm so caught up with procrastinating right now. I'm even three days behind on a mid-something paper deadline. My procrastination today includes tortellini and shopping for bathroom accessories. Moving out next month has given me such an amazing list of projects to set in motion and then drop before they're done. Like making a catalog of all the books in the house. Or chronologically ordering my classes and projects of the last like ten years. Stuff that implies paper and dust and a bitter taste of guilt for all those trees.
Whatever I had on my mind when I started writing this post is lost somewhere but I guess it was in one way or another just bragging about my very own place. I'm getting the room painted as well and I've been obsessed with peach for a long time. But this morning I was thinking it's either too pink and girlish, either too beige and boring. I found some awesome examples on the web and now I think it's actually more of an orange, which makes it both feng shui and trendy (hahahahaha). Anyway, it may have actually been a great idea all along. It does require a change of plans in terms of rug and curtains, but oh, well, if I can't do plans, what the hell am I good at?
The kids start holiday today, but I just had to leave my presentation for the last minute, so now I'm still going next week. Somehow I guess I do like it, especially when I'm heading home and the whole city is on fire. It is crazy, but man how I love those Christmas lights. The snowflakes, the bells, the crazy colored trees. I wonder if there's some reindeer this year anywhere. Never been one for winter holidays, but this year is the first time I don't have work to do and I'm gonna lazy around them bravely.
I've read Palahniuk's "Diary" and I did love his writing, but I guess there's always expectations after reading a book or two. I maybe wanted his writing to be so violent it makes my head spin, to leave the meanings behind the line of obvious, to be drawn into almost snuff stories. Instead, I found a recipe that was pretty predictable, a story of a community ruthlessly striving for independence and well-being, an underlying discourse of exploitation of women as housewives, as scapegoats, as free sources of production mainly through marriage. Of course, what I read is so much of my own mind and I bet one of the wonderful things about his art is that you can be terrified and amused at the same time, looking at larger meaning or just experiencing sensations.
OMG I can't wait for snow. The house wine and gingerbread taste different after a day of sleighing. I feel that all the mean energy of this year is already fading away and the next one's gonna be a blast.
Well, I've had time to think it through and maybe I'm too good for you.

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