Monday, May 30, 2011

I'm happy

It's funny, but even though I still hold the habit of complaining about this and that, I'm actually happy. I have major plans, but no major concerns. I'm in such a quiet place and the only reason I would move on from here is the constant pressure coming from the outside. Otherwise, I'm happy.
I spent the weekend at the cabin in the mountains, reading in the hammock, under the trees. There was a puppy sleeping close by and all I could hear were his sighs, the birds singing, the insects in the already tall grass and sometimes the wind. It smelled a bit like cherry blossom and a bit like freshly chopped wood. I could spend forever in that moment and I intend to, actually. Once I'm done with my dissertation, this summer I won't miss one weekend. When I won't be going to the cabin, I'll go to the countryside and when I have to be in the city, the forest is just a few steps away from my home and I can go on a picnic. There's stacks of books waiting for me and that amazing sun and the shades and the grass are just there waiting.
I'm pampering myself with fruit every day. I'm overdosing on strawberries and cherries and lemonade. I dream a lot and vividly and kitty's waking me up every morning just so that I can catch the sunrise and salute it properly with a yoga exercise that helps me find a point of balance every day. The cards and horoscope all say my energy level is high as ever and the little things that keep me back are piece of cake for me to handle.
And on days like this, I know what they mean. I had a lovely morning reading, had walnuts for breakfast, work went by like a dream and I met my dear friend FoxyLove for a walk and a chat. We had ice cream and raided the market, where I got these sweet cherries and other veggies and fruit. My apartment faces the east, so at this time of the day, it's really refreshing to sit here in my underwear and catch up on my work. The lilac I brought from the mountains greeted me alongside my kitty when I opened the door. I wonder everyday why it is so hard for people to let go of trying to feed me their own definitions of happiness. I keep saying, and I don't know where I heard it, that every truth is simple once it's revealed. Spells break, people change, we get older, but not that much wiser.

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