Wednesday, September 12, 2007
It took some time, but I realised I'm not critical, not hard to please, but angry. I used to beat up my friends in childhood and call them names. I used to have a wardrobe full of black clothes, and that was not for trying to be cool. I take the bus and hate everybody I see thru that window. It sometimes explodes and sometimes implodes, it makes me that girl. The girl with the inappropriate dress at the prom. The girl people won't let cook in their kitchen because for sure she will burn a pan. The girl who says the stupid things in the classroom. The girl who cries in public. The girl who gets drunk enough to piss off all her friends. Just the girl who fucks up things and is really good at embarrasing people. But I'm a friend of my anger. Anger lets me know I'm not as weak and stupid as I look. Anger comes from a feeling of personal value. And from giving in to the idea that life in unfair. Anger is realistic, anger is empowering and most of all, angry is better than numb. Some people may give in to kindness and optimism. They get better health, more good luck and lots of love. I dig anger. It's self-destructive.